The Iceman Scuffle

As the man on the podcasting mic, I'm compelled to wade in on any rip-roaring controversy--especially the one involving Caleb, Skip, George & Jerry.

So here goes...

Caleb Williams is the sensational, young quarterback, who led my beloved Bears to several miraculous, last-minute victories last season, thus earning the nickname...The Iceman.

Cause he's cool under pressure.

In the last few weeks, Caleb's attempted to monetize that reputation by trademarking Iceman as his and his nickname only, so no one else can use it. Without, of course, kicking him some cash.

Hey, no one said he was the Nice Man.

It prompted Skip Bayless, a TV sports personality, to accuse Caleb of stealing the nickname from George "the Iceman" Gervin, a sensational basketball player from the `70s and `80s.

Prompting Caleb to tell Skip to go fuck himself. Or words to that effect.

Prompting me to weigh in, as though I were the judge in a small claims court...

In the matter of the alleged stealing, Caleb is right and Bayless is wrong. Caleb's not stealing Gervin's nickname cause it was never Gervin's in the first place.

Yes, Gervin was nicknamed the Iceman.

But you can't own a nickname like you own a car or a house or the rights to a song that you wrote.

Sorry, fellas, so long as Jerry Butler exists in the universe, neither of you is the "real" Iceman...

No, a nickname is an honorific bestowed upon you by other people. Actually, it need not be an honorific. It can also be a disparagement. 

For instance, if I were to give an apt nickname to Skip Bayless, I'd call him The Pest. Cause he's so annoying--as Caleb's clearly learned.

But Bayless can't trademark The Pest as his nickname, just cause it fits him like a glove, anymore than I can trademark Cool Breeze. My high school nickname.

Okay, maybe I was the only who called me that. And never in public.

My point is...

Most nicknames are generics. They can apply to many different people. Caleb is not even the first Iceman in Chicago.

That honor belongs to one man and one man only--the late, great Jerry Butler, soul singer extraordinaire, who was known as the Iceman when Gervin was still in grammar school and long before Caleb was born.

In fact, in my mind, it's outrageous that anyone in Chicago would dare to denigrate Jerry Butler's legacy by claiming the Iceman as a nickname. No matter how many times he beats the Packers.

Having said all that...

There is the proposal suggested by Jim Coogan, ace attorney and diehard Bears fan, who in high school was nicknamed Romeo. Cause the ladies all loved him for his body and his mind.

Just kidding.

Anyway, in one of my recent podcasts, Jim argues that we should let Caleb trademark Iceman so long as he kicks a portion of whatever proceeds he makes from that nickname to George Gervin.

On the grounds that Caleb might make so much money in off-the-field endorsements that he'd be willing to play for less, thus freeing up value cap space for the Bears, allowing them to continue to defeat the Packers for another ten years—at least. 

I must concede it's an enticing proposition, provided Caleb kicks in a little something for Jerry Butler’s estate. 

A wise man that Jim Coogan, and at such a relatively early age. Just call him Kid Solomon.

Speaking of nicknames you can't trademark.