Known As A Scam

Making my way through an article about Chicago's broke-ass public schools, when I confronted a sentence guaranteed to trigger me.

As if a city perpetually skimping on public education wasn’t triggering enough.

It came in an article jointly written by the Sun-Times and WBEZ. Here’s the sentence…

“Participants offered up solutions such as increasing funds from special taxing districts, known as TIFs…”

Okay, let me try to state this as calmly as I can...

Those “special taxing districts” are not "known as TIFs." They are TIFs. That's their name. It's an acronym--stands for Tax Increment Financing. Saying TIFs are "known as TIFs" suggests they have another name. Like Sean Combs is known as Puff Daddy.

But TIFs have no other name. They are what they are–TIFs.

Saying TIFs are "known as TIFs" is like saying the president of the United States is known as Donald Trump. 

No self-respecting journalist would write such a preposterous phrase. And yet they write TIFs are "known as TIFs." Why?

My guess is cautiousness. They're not sure what TIFs are or how they work or what impact they have on schools and so they stick with bland phraseology they figure can get them in and out of the sentence without upsetting anyone.

Except some old lefty who does podcasts out of his attic. And who cares about him?

Imagine a property tax scam devised by Bernie Madoff....

Actually, calling it a "special taxing district" is misleading. There's nothing particularly special about them--as there are hundreds of such districts all over the place. And it's not helpful--as most readers don't know what a taxing district is. And calling them “funds” is a coverup. They’re not some nebulous, unspecified "funds." No, they're very specific. They're property-tax dollars. You know, the same property tax dollars that taxpayers hate to pay. So if you want readers to know what TIFs are, you would write…

TIFs are a surcharge on your property tax bill that goes to bank accounts controlled by the mayor and the city council.

And if you really want to let readers know what's going on, you'd continue...

The city and the county don’t tell you they’re slapping that surcharge on your property tax bill.

So...

You pay the property-tax surcharge without realizing you're paying it.

In other words...

Your property-tax bill lies to you, leading you to believe you’re paying property tax dollars to the schools when a portion is actually being diverted to the TIF bank accounts.

And while we're at it...

Every year the mayor returns to the schools a sliver of the property tax money that got diverted to those TIF bank accounts.

Meaning you, the property taxpayer, are supposed to...

Fall on the ground in gratitude and say thank you Mayor Daley/Rahm/Lightfoot/Johnson for returning a portion of what you took from our schools in the first place.

In conclusion...

Wake the fuck up, people! You're being scammed!

Now that’s how you tell readers what TIFs are!

But, no, better to have readers believe TIFs are some unspecified "funds" that magically arise in "special taxing districts" which are fantasy worlds too complicated to explain. So keep walking, Chicago, nothing for you to see here.

As you can see, I’m awfully triggered by this stuff.  Been writing and talking about TIFs for years. Might as well be howling into the wind for all the good I’ve done—especially considering how the mainstreams cover them. 

Probably should just let it go. But I can’t. Guess I’m just a stubborn kind of fella, known as a great song by Marvin Gaye.