King Donnie & Epstein--BFFs

It's early to give out this year's acting awards, but I think the best performance in a melodrama goes to Alex Jones, the conspiracy huckster, who managed to squeeze out a crocodile tear over the latest twist in the sordid saga of Jeffrey Epstein.

Jones squeezed out that tear in a video after King Donnie’s toadies announced that after conducting “an exhaustive review” they could find no “incriminating `client list’' and “no credible evidence” that “Epstein blackmailed prominent individuals.”

So shut up everyone about what Epstein did and who he did it to and who did it with him. Okay! Nothing to see here. Move the fuck on!

Jones remains unconvinced. He says it's a coverup. And claims he’s devastated with grief for the innocent victims–the teenage girls Epstein proffered to his rich and influential pals. Like, allegedly, Bill Clinton and Prince Andrew and King Donnie himself.

Yes, yes, before he was king, Donnie was pals with Epstein. So if anyone's on that list–if such a list exists–it’s Donnie. 

Generally I'm sympathetic to MAGA’s take on Epstein. As I see it, the Epstein saga exposes the real Golden Rule. He who owns the gold makes the rules.  

I also agree there are few deeds as dastardly as pimping out kids to old perverts. Though I’d say murdering children also ranks high on that list. Yet Jones showed no sympathy for the 20 grammar-school children murdered at Sandy Hook by a crazed gunman. Instead, for years Jones insisted the murders never happened. They were part of a hoax cooked up by elites to build support for laws that would take away gun rights.

Eventually, Jones admitted the kids actually were slaughtered. But only after the murdered children’s parents–who’d been harassed by Jones’ supporters–sued him for defamation.

And now we’re supposed to believe Jones gives a shit about Epstein’s teenage victims? Talk about a hoax!

The great Julie Brown...

It’s important to note that Epstein might have gotten away with his crimes had it not been for Julie Brown, an exceedingly relentless investigative reporter for the Miami Herald, who would not let the story die.

Not that Jones or MAGA will ever give a mainstream journalist credit for anything.

I suspect Jones is not alone. That is–I suspect most MAGA types don't give a damn about Epstein’s victims. My hunch is they’re looking for any chance to show the world how perverted and hypocritical rich liberals can be. And build a case for a deep state run by a nefarious new world order.

And if that means pretending to care about Epstein's teenage victims--well, let the crocodile tears flow. Though I was hoping old Jones could squeeze out more than one.

Once again...

I’m sure we can all agree that if there is an Epstein list, King Donnie’s name is on it. Which is why Trump’s handpicked FBI director and attorney general somehow could not find that list–as hard as they looked. And they looked everywhere. Even under the couch--though they did find the missing TV remote control.

In retrospect, I don’t know what Jones expected the FBI and the AG to do in this case. Other than erase Donnie’s name from the list and produce a manufactured list with only the names of liberals on it.

Oh, wait, I think I just figured out what they wanted the FBI and AG to do. They wanted them to make up some more bullshit to feed the dupes–like Jones did with Sandy Hook. 

Actually I’m kinda surprised Trump didn’t make his toadies do just that. Guess the big feller is slipping with age.